THE HANDS OF TIME
Today I turn 79. Every year on my birthday, I write a different kind of blog. This blog is about the human experience of time, and a birthday is a personal sense of time. The following is a memory that came back to me -- about a time when I was 12 years old.
When I was in seventh grade, we were often confined to a kind of limbo, an empty time that was called 'study hall' and still is called that today. A teacher sat in a solid oak chair at a big oak desk at the front and often leaned back in his chair so that it rested against the wall behind him. In our school, the button to ring the bells for the end of a class was located in the wall next to and behind the study hall teacher.
Just above his head was a huge round clock with a second hand that endlessly and relentlessly traveled around the circle while the minute hand barely moved.
To a 12 year old all this was mysterious.
THE HANDS OF TIME
It was a moment out of time
even as the second hand
swept around the huge clock
on the wall --
until its final march
to 12 on the hour --
the dividing line
between the end of classes
and the beginning of the next ones
At the age of twelve
I was locked in a 'study hall'
a blank hour
when no class was scheduled
About two minutes
before the bells
most kids were starting to put
their books together in a pile
getting them ready
to carry to their next class
I used that time instead
to play a kind of game
I held out my open hand
and thought
"I will make my hand into a fist."
But then I would not --
I stared at my fingers
that had not moved
and wondered...
Then again, I would look at my open hand
and say "I will make a fist,"
but this time I WOULD make a fist
It was odd
thought vs. action
what was the difference?
All this transpired
as the second hand of the gigantic clock
that hung over the master's head
was now up to the last minute
and moving
inevitably
toward twelve
But I had time
to play my game again
only now I would
NEVER make a fist
I looked at my hand
and thought, "Make a fist"
but left my hand open
Suddenly
someone's books
fell on the floor
and we all jumped a bit
already on edge
because the second hand
was about to hit
the top
At that moment
the teacher leaned
way back in his chair
and pressed the button on the wall
that rang the clanging bells
throughout the school
And without thinking
I looked down
to check my open hand
but found
I had made a fist
